Homer's Travels: I Have 100, Do I Have 200!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

I Have 100, Do I Have 200!

Last night was the charity auction at the Wife's school. This is one of the few school functions that I attend and I usually have a good time. Last night felt different and I really don't know why. The auction starts off as a mixer giving time for all the 'yoo hoo - hi there' activities and gives a chance for everyone to look at, and bid on, the silent auction swag. The auction was held in the pavilion this year, a much larger venue, and the crowd was quite large. The theme was the Oscars and everything was very well decorated. When you entered you walked the red carpet, a carpet lined with stars with the faculty's names on them (They mis-spelled the Wife's name - Drat!), got you picture taken, were interviewed on camera by two students, before entering the main hall. It turns out the interview was being shown on the big screen in the pavilion so you could see everyone be dorky as they came in. I am sure I was just as dorky as everyone else.

I have been to about four of these things and I have never bid on anything. I usually don't see anything that I can't live without. The Wife, on the other hand, usually finds a couple things to bid on. This year it was a Longaberger Handbag, a pair of Korean Porcelain Ducks, a Silver Bracelet, a String of Pearls, and a Pink Beach Comber Bicycle with the obligatory bell.

As they closed down the silent auction tables everyone took a seat and had dinner - salad, bread, stuffed chicken breast, potatoes, and mixed vegis. The food was pretty good but for some reason I didn't have any appetite. I only ate about half of the main course. The chocolate cake that was served for dessert was consumed completely - I have my food priorities.

There was a tribute to a priest who was leaving. They had a hilarious slide show of some of his high school pictures. It was also almost his 50th Birthday. They saluted him and other alumni at the auction including a lady from the class of 1938 (She was excited about the bottle of wine they gave her).

During dessert they brought up an auctioneer to sell off the live auction stuff. The Wife bid on a few things (the pearls and the bike) but didn't win anything. Some of the auctioned items were interesting - a helicopter tour of Oxnard with dinner at the exclusive Tower Club (you get to land on the heliport), A private airplane flight over the Grand Canyon, Dinner with Oxnard's Mayor (an alumni), and autographed footballs. The auctioneer kept shushing the crowd and making lame jokes - we couldn't wait for him to shut up and get on with selling things.

Now, for some reason my enthusiasm just wasn't there. As I said I had little appetite, I was a little warm, my back ached for no reason whatsoever, and, unlike previous years, dress was cocktail formal so I was in a suit. I'm a jeans and t-shirt type of guy and I'm just not comfortable in a tie. Having said this, the Wife thinks I look damn fine in a suit and I would have to agree with her. I just don't want to wear it all night. Other then that there really wasn't any reason that I shouldn't have had fun. I knew people there - the Wife, the "J", other teachers I have met along the way. I really wanted to support the Wife but I think I just fell flat. I hate when I let her down.

After all was said and done, the Wife walked away with the handbag and the ducks. This was better then the big fat zero we left with last year.


  1. Were you sickly from your leg?

    And, really, who doesn't have room for chocolate cake.

  2. JaG, I can't blame the leg. It doesn't hurt much anymore - it is itching like the dickens. I was just in a blah mood.

    Heh, yes there is always room for cake, cookies, brownies, Ice Cream, ..., and Jell-O!

  3. I was thinking the leg drugs could have been giving you the sicky blahs.

    Jell-O? That's hospital food. ;)

  4. JaG, You would get along with the Wife real well since she doesn't understand why I like Jell-O either. I like Jell-O - even when I'm not in the hospital. I don't really understand why, I just do. It's become a running family joke.

  5. Well, if you really wanted to wow the crowd, you could have showed the big bump on the big screen. Added bonus: everyone loses their appetites, more desert for you!

    Bummer about having the blahs. Sounds like the last party I went to. Sometimes, it's just not your night.

    Three cheers for Jell-O, though!

  6. GH, LOL! Why didn't I think of that? I could have grossed everyone out.

    The blahs have passed. We all have our bad days I guess.

    Hip-Hip Hoorah!
    Hip-Hip Hoorah!
    Hip-Hip Hoorah!