Weekly Ephemera #138

• Where the heck did April come from, and what did it do with March?!?
• We went to see Bob Dylan and the Band on April Fool's day and boy howdy did I feel like a fool for going.
• I walked three times this cloudy, gloomy, and windy week.   I walked 24.7 miles (39.7 km), which was close to my goal.  Next week, barring any unforeseen distraction, I will try to go more miles.
• Thursday and part of Friday, I watched the tariffs cluster-F demolish the growing economy this administration inherited.  Earlier today I put in sell orders for all my stock investments.  This decision drove me crazy – too many what-ifs and WTFs.  The uncertainty in the world, and the economy, is making me feel very uncomfortable.  Going to all cash and 'safe' investments will help me rest a little better at night ... if the FOMO doesn't kill me first.

In The Eye Of The [Appalachian Trail] Storm

The past week or so has been crazy ... mostly in my head.  Before all my long hikes I've done - Camino I, Camino II, Appalachian Trail (AT) I, AT II - my anxiety levels have gone through the roof and AT III has not been any different.  Being sick for the past week hasn't helped that at all.

Yesterday some of the anxiety was alleviated when I went to the post office and mailed my three resupply boxes.  All three will get to their destinations before I even leave Omaha.  One less worry.  I spent the rest of the day not thinking about the AT at all or at least not very much.

I only have a couple things to do before I go.  I need to make a shuttle reservation to take me from my hotel to the trailhead.  The other is to put together a list of stuff I need in my carry on so I don't forget something important.

My next worry is getting to my starting point in Gorham, NH.  I'm flying to Boston with a two hour layover in Chicago.  I am scheduled to arrive in Boston a little more than two hours before the bus taking me to Gorham leaves from the airport.  In the past, two hour cushions have been enough but ... all the news about flight cancellations and delays are bolstering the remaining anxiety I have smoldering in the background.   The only thing I can do is not to check any luggage to help me get on and off the plane and to the bus stop as quickly as possible.  Without any food and only minimal gear (most of my gear is in one of my resupply boxes) My pack will be easy to carry on.  If I miss connections, it isn't a disaster.  Being a day or two is not a disaster but it will be inconvenient.  I have to stop worrying about stuff I have no control over.

Fingers crossed everyone 🤞

A Homer's Travels Look Back At 2020

2020 … What an unending shit show. A year of two pandemics: one a deadly virus and the other a narcissistic proto-Fascist.  We learned just how ignorant and selfish our fellow Americans are.  It seemed like another bad thing happened every day and the days went on forever … but not in a good way.  A year of anxiety and mental funk that can not be over soon enough.

Let's look back at the dumpster fire that was 2020, shall we:

• January: Like last year, when we started the year in Iceland, we started 2020 in a foreign county - this time Chilean Patagonia.  I announce my departure from Facebook.
• February: On the first of the month I officially deleted my Facebook account.  A quiet month with an extra Leap Day to lengthen this unending year even more.
• March: The pandemic cometh.  This was the month things started to shut down due to COVID-19.  The beginning of spring brought some hope it would not last long.  The birds returned to our backyard while toilet paper mysteriously disappeared.
• April: On the anniversary of the start of my Appalachian Trail (AT) attempt I decided not to go back to finish the last three hundred miles.  My annual exam shouted "Diabetic".  We had eight inches of late snow.
• May: Gloves and masks became more plentiful … in the roadside garbage.
• June: I recognized that while I was accounted for … I was not present in the world.  This lack of presence started when I returned from the AT and has persisted through the year.  Omaha participated in the protest of inequality and injustice.  Summer arrived and with it came a surge in COVID-19 cases.  Is there a limit to human idiocy?
• July: We celebrated our twenty-third anniversary and my fifty-seventh birthday.  2020 not being satisfied with just a pandemic, Santiago had to be put down this month as well.
• August: This month included an almost tragic bunny tale, a return of a monarch, and the positive news of a negative result.
• September: I remembered 9-11 and the changing of the seasons.  I struggled with my many AT what ifs.  I got the flu which, in the time of COVID-19 is actually good news.
• October: The Wife and I did one of the most important things of the year and voted.  The Wife had another birthday.  We ended the month with a quiet Halloween.
• November: The elections dominated this month as it has most of the fall.  Music helped get through some of it.  Thanksgiving produced yet another surge.
• December: I updated my Appalachian Trail posts.  The Christmas season started.  I forgot.  What kind of surge will Christmas bring?  The vaccine has its work cut out for it.
• Walking: I restarted walking this year with a new purpose: coping with diabetes.  I hiked 640.6 miles over 73 hikes.  It is the fourth highest mileage since I started keeping track in 2007.  I'm actually surprised how much I hiked this year.  It didn't feel like that much.
• Biking: This year I didn't ride my bike at all.  No excuse.  I just wasn't present enough to go riding.
• Books: The funk I was in wasn't conducive to reading and I only read one book this year.  Here are my Goodreads Stats for 2020.  I did read some back issues of magazines but the real replacement for my reading was either sleeping or listening to podcasts (often both at the same time).
• Concerts, Shows & Music :  COVID-19 … need I say more?  No live shows at all this year.  I did listen to a lot of music on Spotify.  Here is my Spotify 2020 Wrapped if you want to explore what I did music-wise this year.  The playlist really doesn't mean much since I mostly listened to my "Music I Like" playlist on shuffle so the 2020 recap is more a testament of what the Shuffle Random Number Generator algorithm picked for me.

• I posted 58 times this year - the lowest since I started Homer's Travels in 2006.  I posted less than I did on the Appalachian Trail.  Sad.  I just couldn't get myself motivated to write.  We didn't go on vacation this year along with almost everyone else.  I didn't want to talk about the pandemic.  I didn't want to post about politics.  There was too much of that out there and everything else was overpowered.  I didn't feel like adding to the dreary mess that we were bombarded with in 2020 so I didn't. 

There is hope on the horizon but there was hope on 2019's horizon as well.  No one saw the pandemic coming and no one knew just how unprepared we were.  But with the vaccinations finally being distributed and a change of leadership we can start dreaming of normalcy again.  How will the future unfold changed by this year's experiences?  Some things will have slowed.  Other things will be accelerated.  The future is in our hands.

Here's to a Happy, Prosperous, Healthy, and Boring New Year for all.  May all your dreams come true in 2021.

A Week Later ... And An Almost Tragic Bunny Tale

It's been a week since Iago left us and it is strangely silent in our house.  I can't go into the kitchen without checking to see if he has water in his bowl even though the bowl has been gone for a week.  At 6 am and 5 pm I have to check myself since I no longer need to feed him.

Iago's paw print ... full of love.

I am sure he is still with us in spirit ... he is definitely here in hair.  The vacuum canister was half full with black dog hair when I cleaned this week.  It will diminish over the next couple weeks as the last vestiges of Iago are sucked out of the carpet.

Along with the mourning of Iago's passing there was some bunny drama this week.  If you follow me on Twitter you have already heard but for those who don't, here is the story.  We have rabbits in our backyard.  This year they started digging holes in the grass.  After chasing them away a few times I made a pile of stones on the deck that I could throw at them to get them to quit.  This week I saw a rabbit digging in a hole.  I went out on the deck and threw a stone and missed it by about a foot.  It didn't budge.  I grabbed a second stone and threw it.  I didn't think I was a good throw and I expected to hit it on its back but to my horror I hit the rabbit square on the head.  I could hear the stone thunking it's poor little bunny skull.  The rabbit staggered around a bit and laid down.  It's head slowly went back until it was staring straight up.  I think at this point it went unconscious.  A few minutes later it lowered it's head and just sat there.  After about fifteen minutes I went down the stairs and, seeing me, it hopped off into the bushes.  I felt very relieved.

I don't think I could ever hit a rabbit's head at 20 - 25 feet like I did.  Heck, when I toss the remote to the Wife less than ten feet away I usually miss by three feet.  But, if I see another rabbit digging ... I will try to be less accurate as my heart wouldn't be able to take it really.

Two Weeks ... !

Two weeks from today I will be starting my Appalachian Trail (AT) hike.  Time is flying and the anxiety is reaching a boiling frenzy.  I think the anxiety is affecting my writing.  I expected to be posting a lot as the AT approached but I'm not.  Too worried worrying to write I guess.

Preparations are continuing in fits and starts.  An hour here.  A half hour there.  Things are starting to come together.

On Sunday I started setting up the shuttle services I'll need.  The first is transportation from the Atlanta Airport to the town of Dahlonega on the 4th of April.  I'll be spending two nights there.  The small college town is not far from the start of the AT and has an outfitter.

On the 5th of April I will be visiting said outfitter to buy stove fuel and bear spray along with anything else that I may have forgotten.

On the 6th, two weeks from today, I will be picked up by Mama's Taxi and dropped off at Amicalola Falls state park.  This is not the start of the AT but it will be my starting point.  My first hiking day will be the 9 mile (14.5 km) Springer Mountain approach trail.  The trail climbs 1,982 ft (604 m) from the park's visitor's center (where there is a hiker register and a pack scale) to Springer Mountain (the official start of the AT).

This week I am finishing preparing resupply packages (buying boxes, printing inventories, and mailing labels).  I picked up some first aid supplies and toiletries.  There always seems to be something else that I forgot.

I had three doctor's appointments this week as well.  My eyes are fine, my teeth are clean, and the shot I got seems to have eliminated the pain in the elbow I've been fighting for the past nine months or so.

Now all I need is some sleep.  Every time I close my eyes I see checklists and lists of checklists.  My mind fills up with scenarios - both good and bad - and I think I've already hiked half the AT while laying in bed trying to clear my overactive brain.

Lack of good sleep is feeding into my anxiety.  I don't remember every being this anxious before.  I have always had pre-event jitters but this time it cranked up to eleven.  I am really looking forward to finally getting on the trail, into nature, where I can walk off all these nerves.

Appalachian Trail: What Have I Gotten Myself Into ?!?

I am slowly ... too slowly really ... putting together a resupply plan for my Appalachian Trail (AT) hike.  I am a month away from starting and things are just now starting to come together.  Resupply is the most difficult.  The Camino was so easy compared to this.

This week I bought a small chest freezer so I could prepackaged some foods (Trail mix, jerky) to make it easier to ration while I'm hiking.  I'd bought a vacuum sealer a few weeks ago and combining the vacuum sealing and the freezing should keep stuff fresh until that need to be shipped to me on the trail.  The vacuum sealer also results in smaller packaging.

Smaller packaging is important.  I am really worried about getting everything into my 'bear proof' food bag.  This week, after my weekly shopping, I will have everything available to fully pack my food bag to see if it will hold everything.  It will be a tight fit.

Today I started dividing up the food into first stage food and five resupply boxes.  I first started with packing lists for each of the resupply boxes.  I'd already came up with a meal plan earlier making it relatively easy to figure out what should go in each box.  Along with food, some boxes will have shoes, clean socks and underwear, and seasonal clothing in some combination.

As I was generating the packing lists I was going through the stages and came across several discrepancies in the earlier version of my plan.  I ended up adding another stage (increasing the whole hike by one day) to divide up a large stage and shuffling a few stops to even out the lengths of other stages.  Changing the stages in turned changed the amount of food in one of the resupply boxes.  The result is version 3.0 of my plan which can be seen in the Appalachian Trail tab above.

As I worked on all this I began feeling the pre-big adventure jitters.  It happens every time.  I think I've decided not to do the AT several times already.  But I will do it despite all the creeping doubts.  Who knows how many things I am overlooking or mistakenly taking for granted.  Some things I can survive - I can buy what I need.   Other things may be more difficult like finding food in small town grocery stores.  Then there is will I be able to physically handle carrying so much weight up and down hills and mountains.  So many doubts.  I could just scream.

What have I got myself into?

Appalachian Trail Preparation Update ... Or Is It A Mental Health Update?

DOUBTS!

Boy, do I have doubts.  Every now and then, over the past few months, I have wondered just what the heck am I doing?  I can't really say that I've been preparing.

Due to the vacation, the family issues, the hot and humid summer weather, and the bug I've been fighting for the past week or two, I have hardly gone out on a bike ride or on a walk.  Since the end of May I've walked only twice and biked only three times - not much of a training regime.

I am doing stuff to prepare but I am doing it in fits and starts.  I seem to be having problems concentrating on what I need to do and what I need to get done by the start of next year.  Part of me is in denial I think.  I'm at that anxiety stage I always get before doing something big - like scuba and both Caminos.  I know I will get over it once I'm flying to Georgia and starting on the Appalachian Trail (AT).

Then there are the bouts of guilt.  Hiking the AT is a selfish thing for me to do.  While I'm out proving to myself that I am capable walking over two thousand miles, the Wife will be back home alone.  The Wife is being very supportive but she has acknowledged that she is not keen on being alone for six months.  Do I even have the right to ask this of her?  AAAHHH!

Despite all my angst and doubt I am continuing to prepare.  I seam sealed my new tent.  I bought a groundsheet for the tent and a bear bag for my food.  I've received a new backpack that is lighter than my Osprey by about a pound.  I purchased the latest copy (2016) of the A.T. Guide - I will be going over my planned itinerary with the new book to verify the planning work I did last year.  I still have a lot more to plan and prepare for.

I will get over this hump.  I will regain my focus.  I will prepare myself for the AT.  I will keep telling myself this until it's true.

Commence Peddling!

Not The Bike I Will Ride.

Well, today I pulled the trigger and registered for RAGBRAI (Thank you Mother and Father in-law. Your Christmas money paid for the registration fee).  I could have registered last month but I've been dragging my feet.  Every time I think about riding a bike across Iowa my palms sweat and I get a weird feeling in my stomach.  It dawned on me that I was feeling exactly like I felt before I did my first Camino.  That turned out OK.  I'm sure this will turn out OK as well.

The trigger for me registering was the announcement of this year's route.  Each year it changes.  This year goes 462 miles (743.5 km) starting at the banks of the Missouri River in Sioux City and ending at the banks of the Mississippi River in Davenport.  Along the way you travel through Storm Lake, Fort Dodge, Eldora, Cedar Falls, Hiawatha, and Coralville.  The longest segment, the first, is 74.3 miles while the shortest is 56 miles (66 miles per day average).  There are two optional loops: one adds fifteen miles of gravel road to the second stage and the other extends the third stage an extra 28.2 miles making it a tough one hundred miles.

Many people believe Iowa is a flat state but the truth is Iowa is covered in rolling hills resulting in the actual route climbing 15,948 feet (4,871.9 m).  This will be one of my biggest challenges as I have done very little hill riding.  If you would like to get more information on the route, check out the RAGBRAI site here.  This link gives even more details.

The Wife thinks my biggest challenge will be riding in a pack.  My first reaction to this is to say I will probably be behind the pack most of the time.  As I've thought about it more, I have come around to agreeing with her - riding in a pack will be a challenge for me.

The next step in the RAGBRAI process, beside continued training, is to wait for the lottery.  The race provides services such as luggage transport, repair services, and medical services.  They also provide campsite spots along the route.  They also have a limited number of slots.  I will find out on May 1st if I've got a slot.

Damn it!  Now I have to go wipe the sweat off my palms and calm my stomach down again.