Homer's Travels: Humor
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

This Reminds Me Of Something ... Can't Quite Place It

Mutual of Omaha is building their new headquarters in downtown Omaha near the refurbished Gene Leahy Mall park.  It is now the tallest building in the city just surpassing the First National Bank of Omaha building on the right by 43 ft (13.1 m).  The building reminds me of something ...
Mutual of Omaha headquarters, Omaha, NE.


Saturday, June 01, 2019

Appalachian Trail: Damascus, VA To Marion, VA

UPDATED 11-11-2020

I'm approaching my two month mark on the Appalachian Trail (AT) and I am doing well.  My knees seem fine.  My feet have been aching a little but that could be the new pair of shoes I received from home in Damascus - they will be broken in soon enough.  My left foot has been giving me on and off trouble for the past month or so but it's nothing a little ibubrophen can't remedy.  The biggest health related surprise has been the lack of blisters (knock on wood).  I guess my shoes and my toe socks are doing their job.

Mentally I'm feeling up.  I've given up on a trail family.  I just enjoy the people I encounter until it's time for them to move on.  Now that I've come to accept this fact of the trail, I have been doing much better mood wise.

Another gorgeous day on the AT.
Day 54 - I got up really early so I could take a shower before getting back on trail.  Showers are few and far between so they are precious.

I left the B&B I stayed at in Damascus at 6 :10am and walked out of town.  The AT follows the Virginia Creeper bicycle trail for a while.  At one point you are walking into bicycle traffic which was a bit nerve racking since there were a lot of little ones on bikes who didn't quite know what to do when they were heading for a hiker.

After crossing a long bridge the trails diverged and we hikers were safe once again.  Like most other towns, the trail climbed out of Damascus.  I arrived at my stop, the Lost Mountain Shelter at 15.8 miles (25.4 km).  My plan was for this day to be the longest in this section of the trail but things would change as they often do.

One of the Grayson Highlands ponies.
Day 55 - This would be a relatively short day at 12.3 miles (19.8 km).  The trail continued to climb as I drew closer to the Grayson Highlands.

My stop for the day was Thomas Knob Shelter, not far from Mt. Rogers the tallest point in Virginia, and just outside of Grayson Highlands State Park.  The park is famous for its wild ponies.  The ponies were introduced into the park to control the growth of grass and weeds in the park. The ponies are periodically rounded up and checked by veterinarians.   As I got closer to the shelter I was passing ponies in the nearby fields and stopped to watch a pony licking the salt off a hiker's arm.

At the shelter a mama horse and a couple yearlings came into camp and proceeded to lick salt off of everything they could get their tongues on.  I kept a large rock between me and the horses.

I talked with Dayglo, Lumberjack, and Achilles as the horses licked off salt.  That night a horse stood outside the shelter and stared in most of the night.

The view in the Grayson Highlands.
Day 56 - Today I entered the Grayson Highlands.  Like the Roan Highlands and Max Patch before, these highlands did not disappoint.  It was a blustery day as I rock hopped and admired the views.  The trail took you through our first squeeze - Fatman Squeeze - where the trail narrowed between rock formations. I accidentally took the bypass that took you around the squeeze so I walked through it backwards and then came through again.

There are several paths through the park including former AT trails.  Some hikers took alternate (shorter) AT routes that took you by the blooming rhododendron bushes that are all along the southern AT.  I stuck to the longer route.

The trail left the highlands and the ponies behind, passing by the pen where the ponies are gathered for medical exams, and dropped down to my stop of the day, the Old Orchard Shelter.  The day was again fairly short at 11.9 miles (19.2 km) but the rocky trail made it a difficult day.

Sunshine showed up with a bump on her head.  She'd tripped and possibly lost consciousness briefly.  She was found by Tarzan\ sitting on the side of the trail.

I met my first shelter log groupie here.  He stopped for a rest and asked our trail names.  He'd been following several people by their shelter log entries.  He found Tarzan who was there and then said he thought he was close to Little Hill.  I raised my hand and I thought he was going to jump for joy.  He was very excited.  My entries are not elaborate and just say what I'm doing.  I do have a logo that I use though which probably attracted his attention.  He was travelling with two hikers (Captain and … I do not recall her trail name) who later would be famous for doing a fifty mile day.

My watch band broke here as I was talking to Jug, Phoenix, and their dog.  I was a bit miffed since I'd worn a watch ever since I was a kid.  My mood was lifted by the eggless cookie dough dip Phoenix shared.  Phoenix was a cook who was planning to open a food truck and all their food was homemade.  They were a very nice couple.  I'd seen them on and off for a while now (can't remember when we first met) and I would see them on and off until Waynesboro, VA.  I haven't worn a watch since.

One more thing.  At this shelter I met BooBoo.  When we asked him what his story was he said he was hiking the Continental Divide Trail (the CDT passes through New Mexico, Colorado, and northward along the Continental divide).  He clarified that in 2017 he'd hiked the AT.  In 2018 he'd hiked the Pacific Crest Trail (the PCT goes through California all the way up to Washington state).  He's started the CDT this year (2019) but when he got to Colorado the snow hadn't cleared yet so he came to the AT to keep his hiking legs going - The Damascus to Marion section was his favorite.  When he finished the CDT he would become a triple crowner.

Day 57 - This was going to be another short day but, after talking over the plan with Tarzan, Cali Butter, Sunshine, Sister, and Vagabundo I decided to push for a longer day.  This would allow for an earlier entry into town.

The day went well.  I stopped at the Trimpi Shelter for a snack, a privy break, and a little nap.  I chatted with Hornet who was trying to decide if he wanted to go on or not.

I pushed on heading for a campsite next to a water source.  I reached the site but there was no water.  I climb the hill more looking for water and found none.  I dropped my pack at a campsite and headed a half mile back down the hill to a stream I'd crossed earlier and hauled the water back up.  I did 17.0 miles (27.4 km) today not including the running up and down the mountain for water.

A three to four foot Black Snake on the trail.
As I was trying to get my breath back I heard thunder.  I quickly put up my tent and started eating my evening meal but then I felt drops.  I put my unfinished meal in my food bag and looked for a place to hang it before it really started to rain.  I had a hard time finding a place to hang when the rain got stronger so I got in my tent with my food bag.

There had been a lot of bear activity in the area and having your food bag in your tent was not a wise thing.  As I sat there listening to the rain I swore I heard deer, bears, and other hikers putting up their tents.

It poured for an hour or so then reduced to a drizzle.  When it finally let up I got back out and successful hung my bag.   There was no on there.  No deer.  No bears.  My mind likes to play with my head.

Days 58 & 59 - I woke up to an empty campsite.  All the others who planned to join me stayed at the Trimpi Shelter when it rained and hailed over there.  I was lucky I didn't get hailed on.

I packed up and headed out. Along the way I heard a crack of a breaking branch.  I looked down the ridge and saw my first black bear running away from me.  I wasn't very close and it wasn't very big.  I didn't have time to get a picture.

Despite of only hiking 6.4 miles (10.3 km) I was tired when I got to the Pat Jennings Visitor Center probably because I hadn't eaten my dinner last night.  I called for a 50¢ shuttle ride.

As I waited for the shuttle the others showed up and the stories started.  Hornet asked if anyone had dropped a Handkerchief.  The women in the group snickered a bit before explaining to him that it was a pee rag.  He made a disgusted face and dropped it in a trash can.

Achilles began giving his food to other hikers.  They all asked why and he said that he was a section hiker and was getting off trail in Marion.  Everyone was shocked.  He'd been on the trail since Springer Mountain and I'd seen him since the Fontana Hilton.  He just didn't like goodbyes so he didn't tell anyone he was only hiking a section - a long section  - of the AT.

We saw a car drive in with the driver sitting in the passenger seat.  It was the local mailman and he had learned how to sit in the passenger seat and still drive his standard wheel on the left car.

This was a nice little moment on the trail.  The shuttle arrived and we went into town.

I checked into a hotel, walked over a mile to do my laundry, ate, and started planning my next section.  Resupply would be scarce going forward so I would have to find alternatives to carrying a ton of food.  Some of the alternatives may make for good stories next post.

Pictures can be found in my 2019 Appalachian Trail Google Photos album.

Total Distance: 534.2 Miles (859.7 km)
Section Distance: 64.1 Miles (103.1 km)
Section Elevation Up: 12,578 ft (3,834 m)
Section Elevation Down: 11,379 ft (3,468 m)


Friday, April 05, 2019

Appalachian Trail Gear: The Little Deuce Scoop

I mentioned in my last post that I was rethinking what I packed and what I left home.  Another thing I did was to look for lighter alternatives for things I have to carry.  One of these alternatives made me chuckle.

The thing being replaced was the plastic trowel I used to dig cat holes (i.e. places to take a dump).  The one I had, a very standard orange plastic Coghlan's Backpacker's Trowel, weighed in at just under 2 oz (58 gm).

I did a little searching and found a much lighter, and very appropriately named, replacement.

My replacement cat hole trowel.
Yes ... it is called the Deuce #2.  I couldn't help chuckling as I ordered it on Amazon.

My new trowel, including a tiny carabiner to hang in from my pack, weighs in at 0.67 oz (19 gm), less than a third of my old one.  Over two thousand miles, little savings like this mean a lot.

I'm not so sure how much it will get used as most shelters have privies but if you find yourself miles from the nearest privy and just have to drop a deuce, The Deuce #2 will git-r-done.

Sunday, December 03, 2017

Learning Lessons With Ira

Photo from Wikipedia taken by Tom Murphy VII
Last night the Wife and I went to a live show with Ira Glass, host of This American Life.  The show, 'Seven Lessons I've Learned: a Night with Ira Glass', was Ira talking about his career, the show, and the rather random sampling of the lessons he has learned over the years.

The show was a humorous mixture of talk and multimedia that was very satisfying.  Ira Glass is of a liberal bent and, Omaha being the most liberal part of conservative Nebraska, he tip toed around the politics of modern America.  He didn't really have to, I think, since the applause he got showed approval for the few political musing of the evening.

This is the second time we heard Ira speak.  The first time was during a taping of stories for a future show at UCLA back in 2007.  He hasn't changed much which is a good thing.  He gave us an entertaining two hours which ended with questions from the audience.

Barring something unexpected showing up, this will be the last event we have planned for 2017.  A good end to a full year.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Photograph: "An Exercise In Color Coordination"

This isn't the best photograph I've ever taken but I took it in a rush on my way out of the Billy Joel concert.  It just struck me odd that a sign for BLUE THREE would be colored yellow.

"An exercise in color coordination"
by Bruce H.

Monday, November 28, 2016

They're Everywhere!

This morning I had to pick up and rehang fifteen (*15*) large ornaments out of our front yard.  Three of these had made it across the street and down to the corner.  I guess I didn't do such a great job hanging them and the wind was a bit more skilled at detaching the ornaments than I expected.

I wonder how many I'll have to rehang tomorrow?

P.S.  Aren't you all proud I didn't say big balls?

Saturday, November 12, 2016

It Will Grow Back

Today, as I trimmed my beard, I forgot to check the setting on my trimmer and cut a swath through the right side of my beard.  Realizing my error I ended up trimming the whole thing short.

I went from looking like a pseudo Ernest Hemingway to looking like Wolf Blitzer.  Not a big fan of Wolf Blitzer.

I blame the President-Elect.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

An OK Picture Of Me

I saw this picture the other day while I was walking.  While I have a ringing in my left ear I'm not deaf and both of my eyes are blue.  But it's still an OK likeness.

An OK picture of me ...

Sunday, January 31, 2016

The Forces Of DUH

WARNING: I've been posting on Homer's Travels for nearly nine and a half years now and I have successfully stayed away from posting about politics.  In those nine plus years I have posted eleven times about politics and six of those were posts asking people to get out and vote.  I apologize in advance for the rant that follows.
I have re-immersed myself into the twenty-four hour news cycle.  In other words I am up to my eyeballs in politics.  If this election weren't for the Presidency of the United States of America, I would be enjoying every hilarious minute of it.

This election cycle, though, is different.  I watch the news with a sinking sense of impending doom but I can't turn my eyes away ... much like a train wreck.  Disappointment, depression, disbelief, and embarrassment -  I have never truly experienced these feelings with respect to our elections until now.  What must the people around the world think of us, the "Leaders of the Free World"?  T@#$p, C@#z ... Really?  B@#$%e, H@#$%^y ... that's the best we have?

All candidates are human.  I know that.  All humans have flaws.  The trick with our elections has always been to pick the candidate with the fewest flaws and the most potential.  All of these candidates ... all of them ... have more flaws than potential in my opinion.

Will any of these yahoos be able to make a difference?  Will any of them be able to make a positive change?  One party seems dead set for reversing the meager progress that has been made in the past ten to twenty years.  At the same time their own candidates are disliked by many of their own party.  The other party would try to build on the progress made but would find itself fighting the same forces of DUH that is opposing the current President.

How will it all change?  Will the undercurrent of racism be exchanged for sexism or anti-semitism?  Will partisanship expand while empathy fades from existence?  Will we have more anti-intellectualism?  More dismissal of science?  Will another four years be wasted fighting the forces of DUH?

Eight years ago I had guarded hope.  Who would have thunk I had too much hope and wasn't guarded enough?  The process of electing our next President begins tomorrow.  I'm not a religious man but all I can think is 'Lord help us all'.


Saturday, October 31, 2015

Photograph: "The Scariest Picture I Could Find"

"The Scariest Picture I Could Find"
by Bruce H.
 Happy Halloween Everybody! 

Sunday, August 09, 2015

The Passing Of A Traveling Companion

I returned from my camping trip in Rocky Mountain National Park on Saturday without an old friend.  On Thursday, as I hiked to my last campsite of the trip, a nasty wind blew off my trusty Tilley Hat.  Normally I would have noticed it immediately but I was wearing my new Buff under the hat to keep sweat from running in my eyes.  The Buff feels surprisingly like you are wearing a hat.  I didn't notice the hat was missing until I arrived at my campsite and tried to take it off.

The next day I checked at the trailhead and at the backcountry office where all lost and found items are taken.  There was no sign of my old friend.  I was a bit heartbroken.

Me and Tilley Hat go back seven and a half years.  He was a Christmas gift from the Wife (though I picked him out personally) back in 2007.  Since then me and Tilley Hat explored the trails of California, Nebraska, and Iowa.  We traveled the world together going to Jordan, China, Nepal, Bhutan, India, Morocco, Kenya, Tanzania, and Zanzibar.  We completed two Caminos together in Spain.  We nearly completed my first multi-day camping trip ... but it was not to be.

I hope the Tilley Hat wasn't jealous of my new AT Buff.  I hope it didn't leave in a fit of spite, having to share the same head.  If Tilley Hat is still out there and can see this, you will always be my first and you will always be the better of the Buff.

I will now test the Tilley lifetime warranty and see if I can find a replacement for my trusty Tilley ... at half price.  No matter how new it is, or how cost effective, it will never be the first.

Tilley Hat

Dec 2007 - Aug 2015

Friday, April 24, 2015

X From Outer SPAAAAACE ... And A Trivia Question Too!?!

Thew Wife went to a sale at her old school a while back and bought some treasures.  For me, she bought an old board game.  I'm not a fan of games but the subject matter is hilarious.  The game is called "X from Outer Space".  I love it!

The game isn't complete.  A couple of the playing pieces are missing and the dice are missing but that's okay because what is left is awesome.

The surviving player pieces.  Why X looks like a bird is a mystery.
The game is about an alien - a Bisnipian named 'X' naturally - who is visiting our solar system.  It is our mission to give X a guided tour ... in our "space mobile".  Meanwhile a "space agent" named Quatz (always with the Qs and Zs ... so typical) is chasing X for no known reason.  Along the way the players have to pick either Planet Zoomer or Black Hole cards which help you move ahead or backward respectively.  The cards are by far my favorite thing about the game since they are soooo cheesy.  Here are a few examples:

The awesome Planet Zoomer cards.

The awesome Black Hole cards.
My favorites are:
 "X finds a gizmo to fix the whatsit"
 "Agent Quatz' boomerang whomps you back," 
Who would have thought that Agent Quatz was Australian and I'm surprised it wasn't a space boomerang.

Now, a trivia question.  One of the cards shown above is a homage to Star Trek.  If you are 'game' leave a comment naming the card and explaining how it is connected with Star Trek.  No fair using a search engine.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Today Is Penguin Awareness Day!!!

Penguins chillin' on the Ballestas Islands off the coast of Peru.
If you happen to see a penguin ... be aware of it!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Photograph: Bearded Builders

"Bearded Builders"
by Bruce H.
I don't know about you guys but I'm kinda getting tired of the beard craze.  It might be because my beard, when I let it grow out, makes me look old.  Having said this I found this van parked in downtown Omaha and I have to admit it's funny!  (Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Santiago Matamosca

Our dog Iago, his full name is Santiago, is really ... special.  Santiago is Spanish for Saint James.  Saint James has an important history in Spain.

Based on all the Camino stuff I've posted over the last few years you may know that there are a couple of incarnations of Santiago in Spain.  There is Santiago as pilgrim.  He is dressed in a simple robe, a hat, and carries a staff and a gourd of water.  He is a peaceful pilgrim and dresses as his followers dress.

The second incarnation of Santiago dates back to the reconquista, when the Spanish christians forced the moors off the Iberian peninsula.  During the battle of Clavijo on 23 May 844 the legends says that Saint James appeared riding a white horse and helped the Spanish forces defeat the moors.  From that point forward, Saint James became the patron saint of Spain and was called Santiago Matamoros.  This name translates into Saint James killer of the Moors.

So, which of these incarnations does Iago fit.  Is he the peaceful pilgrim dog?  Yes he is.  Iago is very submissive and peaceful most of the times.  But he also has displayed Saint James' other incarnation.  Iago has displayed a dogged prowess in hunting ... flies.  So now, Iago has a new name:

Santiago Matamosca ... Saint James Fly Killer

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Photograph: Autoco-Wrong

A sign I saw on my walk today. Gave me a chuckle.

"Autoco-Wrong"
by Bruce H.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

NaNa NaNa NaNa NaNa Batman!

Saw this the other day.  Reminded me of one of my posts about my name and its connection with Batman.  The graph is a plot of the popularity of the name Bruce over the years.  The shape looks familiar ...

Seen on io9.com.  Originally posted on Reddit.com by TheIndieArmy

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

No ... I Don't Think So.

So ... The other day I was reading the Camino de Santiago Forum.   A thread called "Blister Prevention and Foot Care" caught my interest.  I was scanning through the comments looking for good ideas to try when I saw a comment that made me double take.  The comment suggested putting maxipads in your boots to help prevent blisters.  Feminine Hygiene products ... in you boots.  Okay.  Made me chuckle.  Later that evening I shared the comment with the Wife and we both got a little chuckle out of the idea.

Yesterday the Wife gets home and she has this mischievous smile on her face.  She pulls off her shoe and shows me a maxipad firmly stuck to the inside of her shoe.  WTF?!?  She actually tried it?!?  She was even pleasantly surprised at how well they felt.

Turns out that the adhesive keeps the maxipads from moving around.  The maxipad itself provides a nice amount of padding while not crowding the foot.  To top it off - the blister prevention part of this - the maxipad absorbs moisture keeping your feet dry (wet feet are one of the contributors to blister formation).  The only drawback is the durability - the maxipads would have to be replaced every couple days or so.

So ... will I be carrying a box of maxipads in my pack on future long treks?

No ... I don't think so.

P.S.  I never dreamed that I would ever ... ever use the work maxipad in a Homer's Travels post, let alone use it seven times.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Bruce ... Bruno ... Batman

The Wife and I often have weird conversations.  Especially at the end of the day.  Once it was a discussion on which were more real, Unicorns or Chiggers.  The Wife doesn't believe in Chiggers (or at least she claims she doesn't).  To prove there existence I pulled out a dictionary.  While Chiggers are in the dictionary the Wife pointed out that the entry for Unicorn has a picture while the entry for Chigger does not.

Another time our discussion was about the Gurkhas, Nepalese soldiers who fought with the British during the World Wars.  Needless to say, our discussions are ... eclectic.

Recently, the Wife told me one of her students had started calling me Batman.  This had mystified her until she finally asked why.  "His name is Bruce ... just like Batman ...  Bruce Wayne," he said.  This sparked a whole new discussion.  I jokingly suggested that maybe I should be called Bruno because in Spain Batman's alter ego is named Bruno Diaz.  I learned this while in Burgos recuperating from my tendinitis. One of the TV shows I watched while resting my ankle was an animated Batman movie.  Batman's alter ego was not Bruce Wayne but Bruno Diaz.  Her class, upon hearing about our discussion, and confirming the Bruce-Bruno connection, are more convinced than ever that we are weird.

While I like Bruno as an alter ego, I think I'll just stick with Batman.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Strike A Pose

One of the Wife's friends went home for the weekend (Sturgis ... during the 70th anniversary of the biker rally ... very cool) and she needed someone to take care of her dog.  Milo, an Australian Sheep Dog (mix?), has been a pretty good house guest these past few days but one thing we found hilarious was when he did this:


He seems to be comfortable in this position as he's fallen asleep doing this.  Usually one of his front paws is sticking straight up - in this picture he's a little more ... relaxed.