Homer's Travels: "What's The Score?"

Thursday, February 18, 2010

"What's The Score?"

This week has been a little tough.  I've been fighting a persistent bug, the Wife stabbed her hand with a large screwdriver (It looks bad but it's getting better), and poor Homer, his back end problems are not getting better ... if anything they're getting worse.  The poor guy's hobbling around like an invalid.  Every time I look at him I feel so sad and helpless.  So to combat this potential emotional collapse, I've been looking for things to make me laugh.

I came across something that reminded me of something that happened early in our marriage.  The Wife had a habit of talking in her sleep, a habit that has diminished greatly over the years.  Either that or I'm just sleeping through it now.  Soon after we were married, in the middle of the night, the Wife turned to me and asked me: "What's the score?"  While I was awake, I was trying to sleep so I ignored her.  She would have nothing of it and pushed me and asked again more adamantly: "What's the score?"  Trying to placate her I said something like: "20 to 13."  This inevitably provoked the follow on question: "Who's winning?"  Knowing that the Wife is an hard core Notre Dame fan, I naturally answered "Notre Dame."  In a whiny voice she responded "But they're not playing!"  What's a guy to do?

A year or so later, I feel a shove and the Wife saying: "Honey!"  I tried to ignore her.  "Scratch my back!" she says.  I ignore her some more.  She shoves me some more, more violently, and says: "Honey, scratch my back!"  Trying to remember why I married her, I turned over and started to scratch her back.  Next thing I know, she turns her head and asks: "What are you doing?"  All the shoving and asking ... she was asleep the whole time.

As I said, over the years she talks less and less in her sleep, or I'm sleeping deeper and deeper, either way the only thing I've heard her say lately is "Pencils Down!"  Even in her sleep she's teaching.

So, what reminded me of all this sleep talking?  This website:

You may have already heard about this guy.  I'm a little slow at finding things some times.  He talks in his sleep so much that his wife set up a voice activated recorded and she posts what he says on her blog.

Funny Stuff.  Hopefully it will lift my spirits.


  1. Oh that's pretty dang good stuff!!

    I'm sorry for your sick/injured family :)

  2. Miss McC: Very funny stuff. The guy has a wicked subconscious.

  3. Geez, I've been single so long, I have no idea if I talk or snore. Pathetic, no? LOL

  4. GH: You need to buy a voice activated recorder and find out. Or ask JaG since your staying at her house.