The Passing Of A Camino Angel

I met Geneviève five and a half years ago. I passed her going down the hill into Roncesvalles on my very first day but we didn't introduce ourselves until the end of the second day in Zubiri.  We started planning our walking days together somewhere around Torres del Rio.

My Camino Angel.

Over the next three to four weeks, except when separated due to health issues, we walked the Camino together.  By the time we reached Santiago de Compostela we'd grown quite close.  After I got home I friended her on Facebook and we talked about our Camino.  Soon afterward she told me she was doing it again in two years.  I asked if I could tag along.  We started planning our second Camino.  We were never apart the almost seven weeks of the second Camino.  Over the two Caminos, a combined total of sixty-six days walking together, Gen developed feelings for me.  I have to admit that I too had some feelings for her but mine were tempered by my love for the Wife and our marriage.  Gen knew how I felt, respected my feelings, and, I'm certain, was disappointed.  She wanted to meet someone to love and take care of.  She wanted children.  She got me instead and I couldn't give her what she wanted.

After we returned home I realized that continuing our communication would be hard on Gen.  Some of her Facebook posts were full of melancholy and depression.  I chose to distance myself.  I kept any communication between us brief.  We still 'liked' each other's posts and we left comments at times but you could feel the distance grow.  I found out recently that she too had consciously decided to distance herself from me at nearly the same time wanting her image of me to be unchanged from what she had on the Camino.

Over the last three years we often went months without exchanging more than a 'like'.  I lost myself in the infernal game and preparation for the Appalachian Trail (AT).  Gen made new friends centered around Big Brother fandom on Twitter.  We both distracted ourselves.  Even so, she was always on the periphery of my life and I imagine I was there on hers.

This summer we started talking a little bit more.  She would leave comments about the South American trip.  Early in September, as she prepared for a trip to Germany and Iceland, we talked about the AT.  We always had planned to meet up somewhere along the trail.  We settled on a preliminary plan for her meeting me in Maine.  She would hike the last ten days with me.  Four weeks later, only a few days after returning from Iceland, she went to the hospital.

Five days later, Gen was diagnosed with aggressive liver cancer.  She was given a 10% chance of survival.  A few days later I flew to Montreal and visited with her at the hospital.  During the two days I was there most of the news went from bad to worse.  She was told, on average, she should expect to live another three to four months.  The cancer was aggressive.  A few days before Thanksgiving Gen was told that she had two ... maybe four weeks tops.  I'd planned to visit her again in early December - I had the plane tickets - but this bad news sped things up for me.  The day after Thanksgiving she moved out of her parents home into hospice.

On Tuesday morning, the day before I was planning to fly to Montreal, I received the dreaded email.  The hospice nurses did not expect Gen to survive the day.  Gen's father gave me his phone number and I was able, between tears, to say my goodbyes to her.  She was too weak to speak but they said you could see in her eyes that she heard me.  She passed away late Tuesday night.  😢

Gen and her parents - she was an only child - did not deserve this.  She was only forty years old.  She had so many years ahead of her.  There were so many places she had to visit, so many people to meet, and so many things to experience.  Not a day has gone by since all this started that I haven't thought about her.  Every little thing reminds me of her.  Anything remotely Camino related - walking, sunrises, sunsets - takes my thoughts to Geneviève.  Everytime I see something of beauty my only thoughts are: "Gen will never see this.  Gen will never experience this."  She deserved so much more.

Geneviève

January 9, 1976 - November 29, 2016

(Turn on sound)

 I once thought the Camino had changed me but I was only half right.  Geneviève was my Camino.  Meeting her made me better.  I miss her, I always will, and I will never forget her.  Goodnight Gen.  Pleasant dreams.

Book: Hugh Howey's "Shift"

Hugh Howey's "Shift" is the second book of his Silo series.  I read the first book, "Wool", earlier this year.

"Shift" is a prequel in a sense.  It tells the story of the creation of the Silos described in "Wool" and takes you through the few hundred year history of them.  The book ends once the history catches up with the end of the events described in "Wool".

I liked "Wool" better than "Shift".  By its very nature the story hops around through several parallel timelines and perspectives.  This made it a little hard to get into the story as much as I did in the first book.

Despite the issues I had, "Shift" is a worthy contribution to the story and I gave it four stars on Goodreads, the same score I gave "Wool".  I am interested in the third, and last book I believe, of the series and where Howey takes us next.

They're Everywhere!

This morning I had to pick up and rehang fifteen (*15*) large ornaments out of our front yard.  Three of these had made it across the street and down to the corner.  I guess I didn't do such a great job hanging them and the wind was a bit more skilled at detaching the ornaments than I expected.

I wonder how many I'll have to rehang tomorrow?

P.S.  Aren't you all proud I didn't say big balls?

Photograph: "Refraction"

Saw this on my walk the other day.  It was tucked into an alleyway.  For once I actually took note of the name of the artist.

"Refraction"

by Bruce H.

(Original artist: Sedra D'Mente)

Yep ... The Holiday Season Has Begun

I've said before that the holiday season begins with Thanksgiving.  We usually start our holiday decorating after Thanksgiving though, if you've been reading Homer's Travels you know we started a few days early this year.  This year, we need all the holiday cheer we can muster.

Some of the smaller of the big balls in our oak tree.

This morning I put the big balls in the oak tree out front.  This has been an annual tradition for several years now.  It's not as easy as it once was as the oak tree is growing taller every year.  Here is a link to the original "Charlie Brown Tree" post and here is it today:

The Charlie Brown Tree all grown up.

The afternoon was dedicated to putting up the Christmas Tree in our family room.  We may only put lights on it this year - no guests or festivities planned at our house this year.

The tree with lights.

I have to say, I like the simplicity of just the lights and the star topper.

Black Friday Wandering

I am not one to shop on Black Friday.  I don't like the crowds and the craziness.  So today I decided to walk off the delicious food I partook in yesterday at the Wife's niece's home.

I am predisposed to follow the Yellow Arrow.

The Missouri River with the

South Omaha Bridge Shadow.

The path I took is a loop starting and ending at the Bob Kerrey pedestrian bridge.  Part of the loop is a marked bike trail used by some bike club or group.  The path is marked by yellow arrows reminiscent of the yellow arrows of the Camino.

I followed the arrows south then back west across the South Omaha bridge.  The day was perfect for a long walk with just a little breeze, lots of sun, and temperatures around 50℉ (10℃).  I took pictures of street art that will someday be posted about, I'm sure.  I deviated from the arrows to lengthen the loop that took me back to the car.  I ended up doing 14.6 miles (23.5 km).

I have had trouble getting out to walk lately.  When I walk I think.  While I often like this walking meditation, I'm finding myself thinking too much.  The last couple months, months of unwanted change in different parts of my life, my thoughts have wandered melancholy spaces.

Someday I will leave these spaces and return to good mental places.  It will take time, soul searching, and effort on my part.  When I manage this, walking will once again become a wonderful, life affirming thing in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

In the United States, today is Thanksgiving.  It is a day to remember and celebrate what we are thankful for.  While I am thankful for the Wife, my family, and my friends who make me smile and laugh, I sometimes wonder if there is more to be thankful for this year.

I am thankful for the beauty in our world - sunsets and sunrises - flowers and ladybugs - colorful art and whimsical drawings - traveling and experiencing other cultures.  All these things help me forget the gray nature that was 2016, or at least they make it fade into the background for a brief period of time.  I think that is what I'm most thankful for ... the things that distract me from the world and cocoon me in warmth and happiness.

Wishing all my family and friends a happy, peaceful, and stomach expanding Thanksgiving!

Preparing For Tomorrow's Feast

The house is clean and ready for the Mother in Law.  She will be spending the night with us and going with us to Thanksgiving dinner at her granddaughter's house.

The Wife's family always have wonderful holiday dinner spreads.  You never leave hungry and often have extra food to take home with you - a very nice thing when the Wife's nieces and nephew were still in college.

We are all adults now.  No kiddy table anymore.  Another sign that time marches on.  I'm sure we will have lots to talk about and I'm sure it will remain civil.  I don't remember ever having an argument during Thanksgiving.  It has always centered around family and food, and on Thanksgiving, does anything else matter?  I think not.

Photograph: "mmm Toast"

Continuing my graffiti theme this month, and the lack of creative writing on my part, I give you a toaster stencil:

"mmm Toast"

by Bruce H.

(Original artist unknown)

Photograph: "Street Art Angel"

I am a fan of some graffiti and street art.  I photographed this example over three years ago.

"Street Art Angel"

by Bruce H.

(Original artist unknown)